Sperm are single-purposed: They’re optimized to get to an egg and inseminate it. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t more to this cell than meets the ovum. Sperm, along with its travelling companion, semen, are surprisingly versatile and adaptable substances. Here are eight unconventional things you can do with human sperm.
1. Skin softener
Sperm contains an anti-oxidant called spermine that is thought to diminish wrinkles, smooth the skin, and help with acne. Looking to take advantage of these much sought after attributes, a Norwegian company called Bioforskning (you can’t make this stuff up) has synthesized the compound and is selling it as a facial cream. These, uh, spermine facials cost $250 and can be ordered through Townhouse Spa, or for $125 Graceful Services.
Those looking to take their culinary skills to the next level should check out a book by Fotie Photenhauer called Natural Harvest, a collection of semen-based recipes. The book description:
Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food.
This book hopes to change that.
Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!
Eight things you didn’t know you could do with human sperm
Artist Martin Von Ostrowski is known for using bodily fluids as his paint mediums (including his infamous portrait of Hitler made from his own excrement). Back in 2008, Von Ostrowski put out an exhibition at the Gay Museum in Berlin in which he featured works painted with his own semen. A single painting requires about 40 ejaculations, which, given the size of the exhibition, suggests that he needed to ejaculate at least 1,000 times. Impressive! Von Ostrowski is able to keep these large quantities of sperm fresh by freezing it.
— Unknown (via stevenbong)
— Sarah Dessen, What Happened to Goodbye (via noeeeee)
HAHAHHA sorry. I just need to reblog this :))
— Henry Miller (via noeeeee)
So many books…so little time!
I don’t give a fuck about anything but at the same time, I care about a lot.
Anything is possible.
But what makes it perfect is if you still want to be together when things go wrong.
It’s just an inherent part of my personality at this point.
Because I love expensive shits.